| iwannabeforgotten. |
[31 Mar 2005|04:47pm] |
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mood |
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 sodamnsleepy. |
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music |
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Room on Fire - The Strokes |
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i almost don't want to write it here, because i don't want it to be one of those entries...
you know, one of those entries... where SCREAM/RAVE/RANT/RAGE over every damn thing that's driving me slowly and increasingly insane. every... damn... day.
it's enough to make a nigga wanna act a fool.
so... for the time being:
1- THERE IS NO ELECTION/MICHAEL KILBRIDE.
2- THE MONTH OF APRIL IS GOING TO BE STUNNINGLY EASY.
3- THE PAST DOES NOT EXIST.
4- I AM A STRESS-FREE, HAPPY, BRILLIANT PERSON.
5- YES, BOTH OF THOSE CARS OUTSIDE ARE MINE.
6- COLLEGE WHO?
Somewhere far away, something beautiful is just beginning. And it's starting something new and wonderful in this world... in exchange for the beautiful things that have been lost. 13
I give blood tomorrow. I hope that it helps someone.
Sleep is calling me but I'm avoiding it so I think I will just preoccupy myself with something. Maybe I'll have some REVOLUTIONARY IDEA THAT CHANGES THE WORLD!
My friends, we can only hope.
He said, "Please don't make this harder." -Loren
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[10 Dec 2004|11:56pm] |
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mood |
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 discontent |
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PS. she still gets to me.
-loren
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| X |
[10 Dec 2004|11:32pm] |
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mood |
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 pissed off |
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i know what i want for christmas...
-loren
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| because i got high.. |
[06 Dec 2004|04:30pm] |
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mood |
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sad |
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music |
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Kill - Jimmy Eat World |
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I got this in an e-mail entitled "Natural Highs". It made me happy.
( Natural Highs. )
love me like i love you.
-loren
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| illinois. |
[05 Dec 2004|04:35pm] |
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mood |
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 hopeful |
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Pain - Jimmy Eat World |
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i don't exactly get it...
but chicago is in illinois. so i'm cool with it.
-loren
ps. if we go to chicago for New Year's Eve, we're staying in downtown for 2 nights, and we're scheduling a visit to Northwestern. =)
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| baby, it's cold outside |
[03 Dec 2004|03:56pm] |
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mood |
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 happy |
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amazing, amazing, amazing.
zero work in 1st hour... had plenty of time to finish my english stuff.
the test in english was super easy and... here's the clencher... SHE'S QUITTING! TODAY WAS HER LAST DAY. Amazing.
Lunch... awesome. I love lunch.
Third hour... eh. Third hour's third hour.
Fourth hour. Easy work! Basically I was talking to Hector and Jose the whole time.
Tonight. Hockey game and Cheeburger Cheebuger. YES. I'm joining Matt in eating a pounder. Yesss. It will be fun time. And Jenny is so happy since Jose's here. What better birthday present than that? Hm, maybe a billion dollars.
I WANT TO SING CHRISTMAS MUSIC BITCHES.
OH! OH!
Today is cold! It's cold!!! Which means TONIGHT WILL BE COLD! Yessss.
I love this. And I've had good songs stuck in my head all day and that makes me so happy. I hope this good mood lasts.
-loren
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| another go. |
[01 Dec 2004|09:01pm] |
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mood |
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filled with holiday cheer... |
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i didnt like the way that last entry sounded.
god dammit i dont even know what to say. it sucks. i'm so tired and so...
nick and jessica's family christmas. awesome. i love christmas music. christmas music is so fun to sing. this is a bit pathetic... but i miss singing on stage. that was fun. maybe i should start singing randomly to people at school and stuff. no? we should have mass carolling at school. AWESOME.
i have so much english work. how terrible... i should have been working on it a while ago but, well, i don't ever do things when i should, i suppose. some day i'll stop doing it, i know it.
jessica simpson looks like a retard when she's singing. she used to sing good. what the hell happened? oh well, she's still freaking gorgeous.
we're going somewhere for new year's eve. we don't know where yet. we're considering boston... or montreal. or chicago. any one of the three would do.
i'm done again. i suck at this journal thing. i need to... get some sort of hobby. stop wasting my time with this shit.
-loren
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| it's not a heart. it means nothing. |
[01 Dec 2004|08:41pm] |
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mood |
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i decided that this: <3 ...bothers me... in a weird way, but it's so minute that it's barely worth mentioning. so... sorry for mentioning it.
i'm bored. generally. not right this second. i havent done anything fun for a while. i hope this weekend's fun. friday night should be fun. pines ice and cheeburger. nothing can beat that. and we're gunna be celebrating jenny's birthday, and she's the coolest.
hector is a crazy fool. i can't help but admire that sometimes.
i'm not in the mood to write much more. maybe later. or tomorrow. bye.
-loren
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| seize the moment |
[21 Nov 2004|03:55pm] |
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mood |
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 crappy |
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music |
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sing for the moment - eminem |
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i contemplated writing a poem last night. it was just one of those nights.
grease is over. it's weird. being a part of it was weird. friday night was amazing. i was so proud of myself. i never thought i could do it, but i did it. and my friends were all there and so supportive of me. and my family. last night was the cast party... i made a quick appearance with jenny and merly and rachel. i dont like parties too much unless i'm there with all my friends. anyway. i was upset throughout the day yesterday... before the closing show. i went to the library during the day. maybe that was it. the library puts me in a weird mood. and i wasn't as... enthusiastic as i usually am before the show starts. i guess i was upset because... well i had my moment on friday and i wanted to do it all over again. it was so great. but my mood changed significantly throughout the night. erica came to see me with her mom. and then when i got home we talked online for a while, which was nice.
i'm glad we're having a short week due to thanksgiving. it's not so much that i dislike school. it's just that i like to have my sleep. and i love thanksgiving. and i love thanksgiving. loren will be gaining a solid 10 pounds this weekend. wooooo! i have all sorts of school stuff to do and i just hope i can will myself to do all of it.
my neck hurts. i have an A in english and i got an A on my math quiz last week. i am awesome.
i'm done, thank you for your time.
oh wait. i'm going to state competitions for thespians in april. that's all.
music can alter moods and talk to you -loren
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| when i first held you i was cold |
[05 Nov 2004|11:40pm] |
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mood |
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 sick |
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i don't think the same way anymore. that worries me. it's harder to be blissful these days. it's harder to be sad, even. i wrote all these things off as fake a while back, and now i realize some things are worth believing in. even if they won't last. i'm not normal. at all.
also, i hate that i tell myself "i have no time for all of this." i do have time. i just don't do what i have to do. i slack so much. and i hate myself so much after the fact. when i achieve, i feel great about myself. you'd think i'd work hard to make myself feel great. guess not.
the last day of 9th grade i came home from sara's house, and i layed on my bed, listening to music, staring out of my window and thinking "this is the first day of summer... i'm going to be happy" thats the last time i was idealistic like that i think. a teenager shouldn't be such a realist. he shouldn't be so cynical about "the way teenagers are". that's an adult's job. i wonder if anything changes when you become an adult. if that point of view and that cynicism fades.
i got a letter from Northwestern. it made me so embarassingly happy. i read the letter aloud to my mother. i felt good. i miss chicago. i wonder if i could live there. i can't imagine myself living anywhere as an adult. i wonder if i'll have a few friends like now... or if it'll be like when i'm in a class w/ strangers... and i just don't make any friends. i'm sure i'll be fine and i'll make friends.
and then i can walk along michigan avenue with my girlfriend. and we'll go home and watch a movie. or something. i don't know. living with a girl is gonna get boring. i'm gonna be in and out of relationships i bet. or just always out. i dont know.
i have post-nasal drip.
i'm performing both fridays for grease. i'm not so nervous because i only get 2 nights but... well it's me and so i can't help but worry. i do okay in front of mr and mrs c... but when all those seats in the auditorium are full... it may not be so easy to hit the high notes in "alone at the drive-in". musicals are a pain in the ass. how can people love this shit so much? also, the cast is full of retards. not completely full... but damn near.
tomorrow will be difficult/fun/tiring/interesting/long. wish me the best of luck, and i'll do the same for you.
it's such a lovely day and i'm glad you feel the same-loren
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| something has to change. |
[31 Oct 2004|01:06am] |
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mood |
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 tired |
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today has been off.
and i did something in the car on the way to hector's house that i enver do. i was quite. honestly just quiet. it wasnt that long. but it was weird. today wasnt right. and now... well i dont know. i want to go to sleep and sleep forever.
i'm so worried about hector. i care about that kid so much i pray that nothing serious happens to him.
and... i can't write anymore.
-lor
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| 17 |
[25 Oct 2004|11:19pm] |
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hopeful |
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY MERLY.
i love you.
smile.
-lor
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| truth be told, newbie... i'm proud of ya. |
[12 Oct 2004|09:27pm] |
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mood |
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 thoughtful |
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music |
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some song on Scrubs |
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midterms... and the psat. in the same week. it's killer man.
throw in rehearsals.
then we have the ring ceremony on monday, and i have to make the class banner. i've spent a long time imagining the way i want it. i hope it comes out just right.
i've been complaining to merly about how scared i am about the PSAT. i really want a scholarship... so i want to do amazingly. i think my complaining has annoyed her. but its important to me. and i worry... a lot.
i missed scrubs last week. and i'm happy to be watching it right now.
thursday is halloween horror nights. SO FREAKIN EXCITED. and youuuuuuu aren't coming with me. (unless you happen to be merly or sara...)
this weekend, i went over to joey's house for the day after his grandpa's funeral services. it was just like any other day. i wonder if joey's really taking it was well as he's acting. when i came in, his sister was crying. it didnt take much to make her smile though. and his mom was okay too, and so were his cousins. they're a strong family, i suppose. i wonder if mine will be like that when death comes along. i had a nice time with joey, jose, jon, sheila, and joey's cousins.
eh .. i gotta go.
we'll talk later. i swear.
-loren
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| "that's the way we work, loren" |
[05 Oct 2004|08:36pm] |
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mood |
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 indescribable |
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music |
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In the Waiting Line - Zero 7 (off in the distance) |
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aaaaaaaaagh.
okay, firstly. talented gay kids annoy me. i don't know why.
today i had to dance, and dance, and dance. it was... lol fun? i actually started to work up a sweat. and i was told "wow, you really looked like danny just then." and they said my hair was good for the role. that made me so happy. i just need to go to an old-school barber, and ask him for a duck's ass.
i did my homework last night. all of it. i was so proud of myself. but... i still got very little sleep.
ugh and in first hour... it sucked cuz... i dont know. and 2nd hour was weird because we were in the media center. and we couldnt talk. but me and merly ended up still at the table so we talked thru notes. and i pinched her and she got mad at me. oooooh well. at lunch, i saw a pretty girl. but she had weird friends so i forgot about her. french, our teacher moved us again. and i am even further back. stupid idiots in that class need to learn to shut the f up. also i get major neck pains from the way she has the classroom set up. w/e. math, it was SO easy today. it was great. and after school, well, i danced. i told you that already.
this weekend was interesting. went to the game, we lost. it was... an okay night. not so fun. and saturday i went to merly's house for GAMEBOARD NIGHT. erica and sara and igor and alex were there... but it was mostly alex cuz the others were barely there. it was fun. merly and alex are great. and i played scategories for the first time. it was grrreat. and alex took me home. cool, cool guy.
i've got nothing else.
erica used to randomly say "i want to go home". even when she was home. it never really made sense... but whenever she said it, i thought she was saying something more deep and profound than she could understand. i want to go home.
-loren
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| if you've ever felt wronged |
[04 Oct 2004|08:57pm] |
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mood |
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 excited |
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music |
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I'm Not Okay - My Chemical Romance |
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i'm going to be a crazy insomniac for halloween.
should be fun.
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| I think you've had enough. |
[04 Oct 2004|06:32pm] |
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mood |
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sleepy |
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i said a week... i meant a week.
take that livejournal.
you bastard.
i'll update later.
-lor
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| I saw sparks. |
[27 Sep 2004|10:19pm] |
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mood |
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 weird |
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music |
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CSI music |
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I JUST WROTE AN ENTRY AND IT WAS DELETED. I HATE LIVEJOURNAL AND I WILL NOT UPDATE FOR A WEEK. THERE.
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| extra, extra |
[16 Sep 2004|07:12pm] |
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mood |
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 lazy |
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a case of CRAZY [7:11 PM]: I wish I could break in her house and vomit all over the walls.
merly is insane.
WHAT A BORING DAAAAAAAAAAAAY. i've done nothing at all. just watched TV and babysat and been online and listening to music. that's no way to spend a day off.
eh, i got nothing else to say. there's a football game tomorrow. i don't really wanna go... i'd rather go to the movies. but since everyone's going to the game... there's no1 to go to the movies with lol. so i might as well go. i really wanna see Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow. hm.
i have stuff to do for English but i definitely do not want to do it.
god, how miserable.
-loren
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